Port of Subs

Port of Subs, located off Empire near KOHD and a building that has a huge red sign that reads “KARATE”, is your run of the mill sub shop. When we were walking in my friend says “Karate” and I’m all looking around like a turd until I see the huge sign. I wonder what goes on in there. Maybe they sell soup.

I knew nothing about the Port of Subs other than hearing their ads on ESPN Radio while I shower, listening to Colin Cowherd give me the low down the day’s sports news/drama, and nurse my hangover. So a couple friend and I fill up the gas tank and make the long drive out to Empire and visit the Port of Subs for lunch. Looking over the menu I quickly decide on the fast ball…good ol’ number 1 – Ham, Salami, Capicolla, Pepperoni, and Provolone. No brainer.

Instantly the friendly sub sandwich artists fly into action and begin slicing up the cheese and meats on their deli slicer. Apparently this is the gimmick for Port of Subs to make them different than chains like Subway but not different than almost any deli. Freshly sliced meat. Mmmm boy what a difference. Actually, I’m not sure if it really is a difference or not. I think it’s a ploy. That’s how THEY get you. Its the establishment my friends.

After getting my meat stacked on a foot long log of sour dough, I get my toppings in the normal fashion and pay around $9.50 for the footlong, chips and 32 ounce soda. I think $9.50 gets you a refill at NY Sub Shop.


I made a mistake on the sour dough. It was way too heavy for that long of a sub. I couldn’t finish. I should have gone with white or wheat (the only other two options). I just got so excited about sour dough. I don’t often hear that as an option on a sub and now I know why.

Port of Subs makes a better sandwich than Subway and Quizno’s in my opinion but holds nothing on a good sandwich shop like the Downtowner or (RIP) Speedshop. I would eat at the Port of Subs again out of convenience but honestly, its not convenient for me.

Port of Subs
www.portofsubs.com
63056 Lower Meadow Dr
Bend, OR 97701
(541) 388-1580

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La Costa Azul

2009/01/12

La Costa Azul

I visited La Costa Azul a long time ago and commented on Hack Bend about my experience. I ended up never writing the review for some reason though. So I recommended to some friends that we should give it a try. After being seated and snacking on the chips and salsa we ordered drinks. Everyone but “watching my calorie intake – Lucas” kept it real by ordering Negra Modellos or Pacificos.

The salsa had an odd flavor. I can’t quite put a finger on it but it tasted weird. It was slightly spicy but lacked the traditional tomato salsa flavor. I still ate it cause I was hungry but it wasn’t my favorite.

We ordered lunch and another round of beers (and a diet coke). And then we waited. And waited. And waited. While we waited the hot hostess kept coming back to our table, looking at us through her Lisa Lobe glasses and explaining why it was taking so long. I felt bad for the top half of her sweater as it was stretched out to capacity. She must have back problems with how off balance and top heavy she is. Best part of “diet coke’s” lunch was when Miss Mammaries had to reach across the table to the other side and totally encroached on his personal space.

Anyway, I ordered the Picadillo Enchiladas. When we ordered our food we were told that they had run out of rice and so we would get double the beans. That’s totally fine with us but instead of just serving us double beans and no rice, I think they held back on serving our food until they had time to make a fresh batch of rice. When Hispanic Lisa Lobe and her Sweater Kittens finally arrived with our food, she stressed that the plates were hot. She used oven mitts to put the plates down. As anyone does when you’re told that the plate is hot, you touch it just to see how hot it actually is. We all did and all our plates were cold.


My enchiladas were cold and the rice was a shade away from being plain white rice. Definitely not worth the wait just for freshly made rice. My enchiladas had barely enough meat for one enchilada let alone two, and were as flat as pancakes. No one at the table had anything nice to say about their dishes and after waiting as long as we did, no one was impressed. The food was cheap at only $6.99 for lunch, but the 12 ounce beers were $4.25 each! That’s just silly!

“Diet Coke” and I had to leave before the check arrived so I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to La Lisa Lobe but thought I’d pay tribute with a Spanish translation of a snippet of Stay.

“Usted dice que oigo solamente lo que quiero:
I don’ t escucha difícilmente, don’ atención de la paga de t a la distancia que you’ re funcionamiento a cualquier persona, dondequiera
I don’ t entiende si usted cuida realmente,
I’ m que oye solamente la negativa No, no, no, malo”

La Costa Azul
63055 Layton Avenue
Bend, OR 97701
(541) 322-3986

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