Outback Steakhouse, Bend OR


Outback Steakhouse

I don’t know what it is but ever 6 months I get this crazy voice inside my head that keeps singing “Let’s go Outback tonight, life will still be there tomorrow”. I sing it in the shower in the mornings and then I know it will only be a matter of days before the voice gets angry and must have it’s cravings satisfied or else I will turn into Paul Hogan…not cool Original Crocodile Dundee Hogan but more like Crocodile Dundee in LA Hogan when you’re like “really, we’re still making these”.

“That’s not a knife…THIS is a knife!” HAHAHA oh that’s brilliant. Good times…GOOOD times.

What’s weird about Outback is that I never really enjoy myself that much. I mean the food is what it is. IT IS WHAT IT IS!!! I LOVE that saying. It’s like I give up. I got nothing of value to add to the conversation or the company meeting or chatting with my friends or I am really hung over so I’ll just say “it is what it is” cause I do love the sound of my voice.

I’m just saying that the food is the consistently mediocre. I never leave there thinking that I just ate the best steak of my life. So why do I have the craving to go back there twice a year? I really don’t know. They got something on me.

I think the best part of going to Outback here in Bend is dessert. No not their desserts…Coldstone right next door. It’s the best. I’ll give them their own post sometime soon but I have to say, I love tipping them. It cracks me up to hear the forced enthusiasm as they regurgitate a short rhyme in sing song form. SO worth whatever coins they gave me back.

Anyway, Outback is alright if you have some money to burn or just want to go somewhere familiar. I like that they give you warm bread and your salad comes our pretty quick for you to snack on while you slosh down your 26gallon Fosters (it’s only a $1 more). Like I said, food is pretty consistent and portions are large.

What I can’t stand about Outback, or any other place that does this really, is when the waiter or waitress sits at your table, in the booth with you, or even kneels down next to your tabel. Look pal, you’re not my friend, I don’t know you, back it up. If we were cool like that, your name tag would not be necessary. If you’re wearing a name badge, please remain standing. You’re breaking my comfort zone here. We all know our roles here, you bring food that I pay for. We aren’t going to exchange emails after. Please just stand politely next to the table and ask the right questions and we’ll all go about our day.

Maybe that’s just me.

Outback Steakhouse
269 Se Reed Market Rd, Bend, OR
(541) 383-8104

While searching for the address of Outback, I found a great post and comment thread over at HackBend

I love the comments and the fact that Jon used the same phrase “mediocre” to describe his experience.