Hot Apple Pie … from McDonalds … sigh

2006/07/27

Why? Why hasn’t McDonalds been busted for selling crank yet? Come on, you KNOW it’s crank, or crack, or smack, or the good ol’ black tar. I can’t wait to get this meal out of my system which should be in about 3…2…1 oh lord!!!

Anyway, check out the yummy Hot Apple Meth…I mean Pie:

How can you go wrong? It’s 2 for a buck! A BUCK!! Yup, I put that in my belly. Actually I put this in my belly:

That’s RIGHT!!! It’s the doctored up Hot Apple Pie. I call it the White Trash Eclair. I told you in an earlier post that I am a fatty. Now if I can get them to swap out the Apple with Gravy…that would be gold. Dibs!!! That’s right I called Dibs.

Anyway, if you find yourself at a fast food joint like McD’s, I highly recommend …. uh …. shoot, you know what you’re going to get. You get it every time. I used to get the #2 religiously until they did away with it. Now it’s a couple bacon cheeseburgers and some fries.

So, if you really need a recommendation, I highly recommend reading

Fast Food Nation.

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Cibelli’s New York Pizza – Bend Oregon

2006/07/26

“It’s not New York Style Pizza…It’s New York Pizza!”

Cibelli’s on the West side of Bend has some of the best pizza in town. The other pizza joints are ok if you like only a couple toppings and small slices. If you order the 24″ pizza at Cibelli’s, you better bring your MiniVan or your SUV cause I know you have one. If not, then you’re fine cause you drive a Subaru, admit it! You’ll need the space because Cibelli’s has the largest pizza box, I swear it. Check it out:


Now, the box is impressive but check this out!



That’s right, Pepperoni, Pineapple, and Black Olive. This one is only the 18″ but it’s plenty for me. I didn’t eat the crust and I made it through 3 slices and wanted to pass out. I’m a fatty. But seriously, look at the toppings…there are toppings…and tons of them! I’ve asked for a slice of pepperoni at different places in town and I might be lucky to get two or three slices of meat.

Bend is getting pretty funny with natural and organic options and the gourmet pizzas. Places like Pizzicato and Pizza Mondo will offer the cheese and pepperoni and then they’ll have a ton of pizza’s with pesto, artichoke hearts, sundried tomatoes, spinach, and such. Look at you reading this getting all happy about your nasty sundried artichoke pesto pizza and you’re healthy ass. No one likes you.

The best part of Bend, or Deschutes County for that matter, is that while restaurants offer the organic ingredients, their to go containers are (or can be) Styrofoam. Good thing you carry a nalgene to reduce waste but you look silly walking to your Hummer carrying your Toomies lunch meal deal in a Styrofoam box. Good going.

Now Cibelli’s offers all those “crazy” ingredients if you’re interested. And they use paper plates and aluminum foil. Good stuff.

When I get a whole pie at Cibelli’s, I ask for some “love” on the side. No, it’s cool, the wife’s down with love on the side too.

Even though it’s weird to ask another dude for some love on the side, I’m secure. “Love” is their mixture of Italian ingredients that you can sprinkle on top. If you go in for just a slice or two, they have plenty of Love available on site.

I highly recommend Cibelli’s for your pizza needs. I also recommend getting some love on the side…of your pizza…to sprinkle on top…of your pizza. You’re sick.

Cibelli’s New York Pizza
318-2800 Westside
385-8646 Eastside
330-8646 Tumalo

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