Restaurant Q & A – April 16

2010/04/16

New feature, you can either read all the questions and answers or simply watch the movie.

I’ve been having fun with the questions that I’ve been getting through my Q&A Service. It’s a site where anyone can ask me anything and they can be anonymous or leave their name. I added the app to the right side of this blog so you can simply ask me anything you like.

I got a nice T&G sitting next to me and the creative juices are flowing. Lets see where this goes!

Q: I am looking at your blog posts archive on the bottom right hand side of your blog. Looks like your posts follow a similar curve to the stock market. Up in 2007 and 2008 with a massive plunge in 2009. Do we need a BOR rescue plan too?

I’m not going to lie to you, my ass is broke! I had a great 2007 and was wining and dining the Wife at all the hot spots. But as I got fatter, and poorer, I didn’t go out as much or have the will to write as much. Thanks for reminding me of better days. Now I’m just a fat tub sitting on the couch with off name tonic water in my top shelf gin.

If you see me out on the town, how about you say hi and buy me a drink? That would be way cool of you.

Q: Have you hit Amalias yet (on Wall, next to the Tower)? If so, what’s your take?

I do not hit women. I ain’t no Ike. Ha. Ha.

The Wife and I went out for drinks and appetizers a couple of days after Amalias had opened. We walked in and they were pretty packed on the one side of the restaurant that they were open. We ended up going to the Blacksmith and ordered an SS from Hardy. AWESOME drink!

Q: Hi there- We are on our way to Bend from Seattle. Can you recommend some spicy thai food?

Chicken Red Curry, 3 stars, at Toomies. There is Angel Thai, Typhoon!, and Toomies as far as Thai restaurants go. There is also the Thai on the Fly, (Taste of Thailand) which is a drive through only option.

Your question confused me a little, why does the Thai food have to be spicy? I know that most Thai restaurants have spicy menu items but not that the whole menu is spicy. What crazy Thai goes on in Seattle? You should go back there.

Q: Hi, I’m in Bend for a few days. Can you recommend the best asian restaurant here? Something authentic and not too watered down? Thanks!

Hi! I’m Brian Fellows!

You’re in Bend, Oregon asking for authentic Asian?! That’s classic. Who waters down Asian food?

I like Toomies for “Asian” type food to put in my belly.

Q: I know your a bend guy, but you honestly need to go to Redmond and try La Frontera. Their Sopa’s and Gorditas are the best thing in the world. Any Chance you’d do an official review?

NO! Damn it, stop asking! I’m BOR, the BEND Oregon Restaurants Blogger, not ROR. Start you’re own blog damn it.

Q: what are hours for lunch at Olive Garden in Bend and days available for lunch

I don’t even want to take the two seconds to look that up for you. Instead, I’d rather write on for a bit about how stupid your question is. Does your Netscape browser even have a search function? Do you know how to use the internet? What are you typing into Google that gives you the WRONG answer to this question? Is it “glive oarden Bregon oend”? Are you trying to type in numbers from the dewey decimal system instead of words?

Did you read my review of Olive Garden? Why would I want to help you?

Q: Thanks for answering my question about T-icky my man. But, I have to tell you; those suggestions are not true “Teriyaki.” To put it another way, it’s like buying a hooker from craigslist and then realizing it’s your sister at the door!

What?!?! My sister is on craigslist?!? Well, at least she’s embracing another marketing channel.

I guess I have never had real Teriyaki then. A friend of mine said that he has had some amazing teriyaki in Seattle. I don’t really know what I am missing so I don’t really care.

Q: Worst overall restaurant experience in Bend? Worst actual dish in Bend? Biggest disappointment in Bend?

My worst overall restaurant experience in Bend was definitely at the River Mill Grill. You can read all about it.

The worst actual dish that I’ve had must be the fish and chips at Rivals.

Biggest disappointment in Bend has to be how much I paid for my house, how much my house is worth now, the lack of good Indian food, the fact that everyone wants to tell me their opinion like I actually care, people say “round-a-bouts”, your dog, your kids, your huge ass truck that sticks out 4 ft into the lane on Bond or Wall, OLCC, seeing a “make local habit” bumper sticker on a subaru in the drive thru at McDonalds, and the day Don Don closed its doors.

Q: Have you ever had a date with the Porcelain Gods after a Bend restaurant experience?

OH man, could you imagine? That would be the worst date ever. Do I light candles? Do I make a move after dinner and try to get some? I wonder if that could be a movie like Mannequin with that chick, Gracie Law.

I think what you meant to ask was “have you ever PRAYED to the porcelain gods?” And the answer is no. Now I’ve had the hersey squirts a time or two for sure!

Q: Do you fear your wife as much as you appear to? I think you should, but I’m just wondering if you do.

The Wife? She’s just a beautiful butterfly. I’m not scared of her. I call the shots ’round these here parts.

Q: If Guy Fieri from ‘Diners, Driveins and Dives” came to Bend, where would you tell him to go?

To go to hell in a handbasket! Is that a saying? I don’t even want to look it up. No, I would recommend a slice from Cibelli’s, a trip to Jake’s Diner, and a burger from Dandy’s. But he better ask me to join him for something. I even have a wrist band like he sports.

Q: Hi, I love the street vendor SPORK in fact I jones for their breakfast burrito it is excellent! Try it you won’t be disappointed.

That is not a question. I am done with you.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous April 18, 2010 at 5:40 pm

you are brilliant-jules

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Anonymous July 23, 2010 at 6:24 pm

ok – your statement on what disappoints you about Bend is HILARIOUS – laugh-out-loud funny…

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