Group Pizza Orders Suck

2010/01/29

Ordering Pizza as a group like in an office environment or at a gathering of some sort has got to be one of the worst ideas ever. It used to be that you’d have your mom call up Domino’s and order up a bunch of pepperoni pizzas. Then you and your buddies would scarf it down and get back to watching Real Genius and pretend that you too could be a cool nerd like Val instead of just a nerd.

Now your friends don’t eat meat cause they live in Bend. Not sure why all of the sudden living in Bend means you have to carry multiple frisbees in a bag wherever you go, have at least 2 dogs, drive a Subaru, drink only microbrews with at least 7.8 %ABV Hope/Grain Frag Units, and eat way too many vegetables.

My point is, I’m not chipping in $10 for a group order of pizzas when you’re there. You don’t eat pizza. You are eating salad on a flatbread with a damn pesto dressing. I want pork products, cheese, tomato sauce like any red blooded American.

You will say (in a high pitch girly voice while picking grass clippings out of your sandals) “Lets get a Large roasted rosemary potatoes, roasted onions, roasted garlic, mozzarella & ricotta cheeses on a garlic/olive oil base and then a Large grilled portabella mushrooms, sun-dried tomatoes, artichoke hearts, fresh garlic and mozzarella /parmesan cheeses on a blend of basil pesto tomato sauce” (both available from Pizza Mondo btw).

BUT, when the pizzas arrive, what do you do? You and all your wanna be health nut friends take at least one slice of the only pepperoni BEFORE you fill up on the stupid pie. EVERY TIME there is a bunch of pizzas, which pizza has slices left over when everyone is done? THE DAMN VEGETARIAN ONE DOES!!! ARRRGHCHCKSJDdfksajhf $&%*#!!!

Oh but if I say anything, then I’m the dick.

Pizza in Bend Oregon

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Little Things January 29, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Oh please. You're a dick no matter what. 😉

Love,
I like a pizza with the works. Or Kina's rockin' good sweet thai shrimp pizza, which is about 980% better than I'd expected. Friggin' yum.

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Elizabeth January 29, 2010 at 9:25 pm

BOR,

You hit the nail right on the head. The crummy pizza that everyone wanted is always leftover and the good one that only one person wanted is gone. Just a side note: Can we not use the napkin to soak up the extra cheese/pepperoni oil? It is nasty to look at when I am trying to enjoy my slice of fat.

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Anonymous January 29, 2010 at 9:36 pm

Ha. As a vegetarian I can assure you that it also works the other way around. A number of pepperoni pizzas and one vegetarian pizza get ordered. Every meat eater first has a slice of the veggie and it is gone before I get the second piece. And then they munch on their meat pizza with me standing by.

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Restaurant SEO February 5, 2010 at 2:20 pm

I'm vegetarian, and ordering a pizza with a family of meatheads can be very difficult!

Reply

Anonymous March 22, 2010 at 10:59 pm

Maybe it wouldn't kill you to get over your phobia about veggies. Try some veggie pizza already, it's good!

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