Chicken and Nacho Cheese

2008/08/01

We went to see the Bend Elks play the night that the famous San Diego Chicken was visiting. We drank Cascade’s Golden Glove Ale and ate peanuts for the first couple of innings and laughed as the SD Chicken played first base coach, heckling the opposing pitcher, and argued calls with the umpire.


On a poorly called strike, the Chicken went nuts on the Ump and pulled out a visual acuity test (the eye exam chart thingy). He had quite a few tricks and gags which were very entertaining in between innings.

We enjoyed the Chicken so much that it made it difficult to find a break to go get more ball park food. But the wife made her move and was able to score some goodies from the concession stand. She brought back one of my all time favorites. The nasty-ass Nachos.


When I was kid, my mom would send me up to 7-11 for Nacho cheese. I’d play a game of Shinobi and then get ready to scam the store out of gallons of cheese. See, you could get a plate of nachos for like $1.19 from 7-11. But my mom figured that its silly to put the nacho cheese on top of the chips, which wastes precious space in the container that can be filled with cheese AND it makes the chips soggy.

So I was instructed to pay for the nachos and ask for a bag to carry them in. I was to dump the chips into the bag and then go over to the push pump Nacho cheese dispenser and fill up the nacho bowl. Now, if you’ve seen the nacho cheese plate at 7-11, they give you a shallow plate for your chips and cheese and then a big dome like lid to cover them up. I was to turn this upside down and use the lid to fill up with liquid gold and place the plate on top to act like the lid. So instead of just a couple of pumps of cheese, I would be there for a good 15 minutes violating the hand pump to get a good 40 ounces of cheese. Pour a little out for the dead hommies and I was on my way back home to feast on Nacho Cheese for a week.

This worked for about a year. Then one day while attempting to take full advantage of my mom’s ghettofabulous ways, I noticed that they put holes in the plastic lid! You won this round 7-11. So after that failed, I was sent to KFC for a quart of gravy. That’s all, just a quart of gravy. I’ll explain that one another time.
Anyway, I can’t look at Nacho Cheese without remembering the good old days of trying to get extra cheese and playing Shinobi. I owned the bonus level. It’s sort of amazing that Nacho Cheese has not changed in 2,000 years (yeah, if you look closely, you can see that there was a cup of nacho cheese at the Last Supper). It is just as you remember it, (like Lucky Charms) they’re disgustingly delicious.

When telling a couple friends about the game and the nachos, my friend “eBay K” wanted to know what nacho cheese actually is. Well, I can’t say for sure what was used to make the nacho’s at the ball park but I found the ingredients to Frito Lay’s Nacho Cheese here.

The SD Chicken stole the show in my opinion. The game started at 7 and for a Wednesday night, my belly stuffed with fake cheese, beer, and peanuts, it was time for bed right around the 7th inning stretch. After watching a gang of kids swarm the chicken while singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” Then half the stadium joined us as we left. The Elks lost 8-2.

Here’s a recipe for Nacho Cheese Sauce just for you eBay K:
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup milk
7 slices processed American cheese
1/2 teaspoon salt


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Jen F August 1, 2008 at 8:27 pm

I like the soft pretzels (with salt) and a side of nacho cheese (it’s mine!).

The Chicken also got the front page of the sports section. I almost didn’t realize there was a baseball game that night…

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Anonymous August 4, 2008 at 1:10 am

BOR!! ROTFL!! You kill me. Nacho Cheese AND Shinobi – flashback. Good times good times.

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